God's Will
by Qualapec the She-Wolf
Summary: Sanzo meets a termanally sick halfbreed child. Somehow the boy finds a place in Sanzo's heart the other's didn't know was there. Songfic to Martina McBride's 'God's Will' R


Disclaimer: I own neither Saiyuki nor the lyrics.

God's Will

Sanzo leaned back in his seat, he had a headache, and the arguing in the backseat wasn't helping. "Hey!" He shouted back, only moments later finding out that it was a very bad idea, "one more word and I'll ask Hakkai to kill you."

"Why can't you do it yourself, oh holy pain in the ass."

Sanzo was annoyed, "Because you scum at the bottom of my shoe kappa, the gunshot would hurt my head too much."

"You have a headache?" Goku asked.

"Yes you stupid!-ahh, stupid..." He grabbed his head and forced himself to calm down. "Yes. I have a headache, you moron."

Hakkai stifled a laugh, even when Sanzo couldn't yell he still managed to be condescending.

The jeep pulled into the nearest town, "Sanzo it's best to get-" Hakkai began, but the priest was already on the bed. His eyes were closed.

"I fetched Goku to get you some ice."

"What the hell can I say," Gojyo began, "Heat and liquor don't mix."

"Leave me alone…stupid kappa."

"…" Hakkai stood from his seat, "I guess Gojyo and I should go rekindle our supplies. Goku will be back soon with your ice."

"Thanks…" he murmured, Sanzo's head pounded as Gojyo purposely slammed the door shut. "Asswipe…" he whispered.

Sanzo cleared his mental pallet, and tried to relax enough to sleep. Gods knew it would only last until that stupid monkey got back…

Then, he heard a voice. Was it the monkey's shouting? No. Was he dreaming? It took him a couple of seconds to register what the sound was, a crying child…

It continued for some time, Sanzo finally got up to teach the brat a lesson. Seeing as how his parents apparently didn't have the competence to. He knocked on the room next to his. Another bad idea. "Hello." He said with all the loudness he could muster.

No one answered, and the kid continued to cry. He tried the door knob. It was strangely unlocked. The door swung open, a child sat there, maybe 4 or 5. He was small, with crison hair and eyes. A halfbreed!

I met God's Will on a Halloween night  
He was dressed as a bag of leaves  
It hid the braces on his legs at first

Sanzo leered down at the child, it stopped crying long enough to look up at him. And the kid smiled, then said, "Sun…" Sanzo stopped glaring, the anger replaced by shock. Only now did he see the braces on the boy's legs, and even for a child, his speech was slurred and not very clear. Was it just his imagination?

His smile was as bright as the August sun  
When he looked at me  
As he struggled down the driveway, it almost  
Made me hurt

The boy tried to stand up and walk toward Sanzo. But he fell moments later, Sanzo sighed. It was sad. He walked over and reached out his hand to the boy. The child put his small hand in Sanzo's.

Will don't walk too good  
Will don't talk too good  
He won't do the things that the other kids do,  
In our neighborhood

Sinin, entered the room after her shift. It had been a long day, especially since she worked in an inn for room and board. But instead of seeing her son crying as he so often did when she had to work an extra shift, he was sitting on the lap of a man. She swallowed as she entered the room. He was a Sanzo.

"What's wrong with him?" Sanzo asked, as though ignoring the child on his lap.

"He has problems…he's had it hard."

"He's a halfbreed." Sanzo commented rather bluntly, "I'm with a halfbreed all the time. Though this kid's probably smarter than my servant is."

Sinin bowed her head, "Being a halfbreed is not his greatest problem as you can see. His mother drank too much…" She trailed off. Sanzo had heard of a defect called fetal alcohol syndrome.

"And the braces…" Sanzo questioned.

"Bone cancer…my lord Sanzo."

_Chorus:_  
I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'  
Lost and lookin' all my life  
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated  
I've wrestled wrong and right  
He was a boy without a father

And his mother's miracle

Sanzo looked down, the boy had fallen asleep. Sinin just looked on, a relaxed look on her face. The strange thing was, he felt for the boy. His headache stopped. He stood, realizing that if the others saw him, he'd never hear the end of it. "I should be going."

"Wait, my lord." She touched his hand lightly, "I was wondering, how long are you in town…" She trailed off, realizing how she must have sounded, "No. That's not what I mean. I wanted to ask to see if you could watch Hitome."

"I'm on a mission. I don't have time." Sanzo turned but he was stopped again. The child's small finger was wrapped around his. "Son of a bitch…" He sighed, "Alright, I might be able to come by tomorrow. But don't count on it…" With that he turned to leave.

I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'  
I guess I would be still  
Yeah, that was until  
I knew God's Will

Sanzo fell back into the chair, and put his reading glasses on. "Hey," The sly voice of the Gojyo said as he began to read last weeks paper.

No matter how hard he tried to focus on the paper, he couldn't help but think about that little kid. What could he say? The gods saved no one; that was the way it's always been, and the way it always will be. But he always wondered why it seemed the gods were bullies who liked to pick on little kids? Poverty, war, tragedy, disease, it seemed that children suffered most, growing up and sometimes dieing during times like these.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Sanzo looked at the little kid on the other side of the table. He reached for a cigarette, wondering why he agreed to this. The priest put it to his mouth and wanted to light it, but he saw that Hitome was looking at him. He gritted his teeth and put the cigarette back. 'The kid's suffered enough, he doesn't have to breath 'my' second hand smoke…'

"Now what do we have here?" He heard Hakkai's voice and his heart skipped a beat.

"Nothing…" He said in a vain attempt to lie.

Goku poked his head out from behind Hakkai, "Hey Gojyo shrunk!" He stated rather stupidly. Sanzo threw his fan at the unsuspecting monkey; it made a solid thump against Goku's head.

"Retarded chimp…" He growled.

Hakkai gave that smile, "Sinin told us all about it."

"Blabbermouth." Sanzo interrupted.

Gojyo had his eyes locked on Hitome, then bend down and smiled at the child, "You hungry?"

It took the kid a moment, but all he could do was nod.

Will's mom had to work two jobs  
We'd watch him when she had to work late  
And we'd all laugh like I hadn't laughed  
Since I don't know when

They sat around the table, Hitome was a sweet boy. He seemed to care for everyone but himself. The townspeople were nice enough, but Sanzo knew the only reason they were even remotely nice to him was because they thought he wouldn't live long enough to cause any sort of 'taboo' trouble. It made him sick. He'd had to whack Gojyo to keep him from smoking.

Hey Jude was his favorite song  
At dinner he'd ask to pray  
And then he'd pray for everybody in the world but him

"Well that's the last of it," Hakkai replied as he finished loading up the jeep.

Sanzo lit up a cigarette. He didn't want to admit it, but he'd miss Hitome. And all he could do was hope for the best. He climbed in the jeep, he wasn't really the type for goodbyes.

"Now, I'll just go fetch the food and we'll be ready to go." Hakkai left for the apartment a moment later.

It had been a crazy week, Gojyo had had several near death experiences after cracking jokes about Sanzo having a 'soft side'. Hakkai knew it, but didn't say anything, Sanzo somehow felt for the boy. Somehow connected to him. Hakkai could tell what Sanzo was thinking, the boy touched him…somehow. Maybe the same way Goku touched him, but also different. Hakkai felt a tugging at his sleeve, he looked down. Hitome stared back up at him with beautiful crimson eyes. "Please misser. Could…you 'elp. Me's down th' stemps…I wants to…say goodbye, to l-l-ord, Sanzo…

Before they moved to California  
His mother said, they didn't think he'd live  
And she said each day that I have him, well it's just  
another gift

It wasn't only Hitome, but Sinin too, "The doctors…say he's getting worse. I just thought lord Sanzo would wish to know…" tears were threatening to fall.

Sanzo tilted his head back and stared at the sun, deep down he hoped he'd go blind, just so he could stop seeing the suffering around him. There was a tug at his finger. He jerked up and looked down, Hitome… "hey's, misser S-sanzo. Me-I want to…give. You dis." Sanzo looked down at a folded up piece of paper. Unfolding it Sanzo realized it was a messy drawing of the four of them. He subconsciously bit his lip.

And I never got to tell her, that the boy  
Showed me the truth  
In crayon red, on notebook paper, he'd written  
Me and God love you

The others said nothing, even as Sanzo put his hand on the child's head. "Keep fighting…you're too strong to die before I come back. You better be here." He graced Hitome with a small twitch at the corner of his mouth that might be called a smile.

I've been searchin', prayin', wounded, jaded  
I guess I would be still  
Yeah that was until...  
I met God's Will on a Halloween night  
He was dressed as a bag of leaves…

The jeep drove on, Sanzo lit up the first cigarette he'd had in four days.

Now that they were out of town Gojyo could crack as many jokes about Sanzo's 'soft side' as he called it. "So Sanzo, you know what they say about priests and kids-" A gunshot wizzed passed Gojyo's head.

"Another vulgar comment like that and I'll put a hole through your skull! I never want to hear anything like that again, you hear me?" He shouted then seconds later he sat back down, "In return I will allow you and Goku to argue for one day." Sanzo knew he would regret this later, but if a day of utter torture was what he had to go through to get that kid out of his mind…then that was what he'd do…

VVVVVVVVVVVV

AN: Yeah, it wasn't very good. I tried to keep Sanzo as much in character as I could.


End file.
